Been busy

What began as a very ambitious quarter has been trimmed down to only three classes + ROTC. It's been nice because the workload seems manageable for the moment and I have the time to really throw myself into my classes. I have time to do extra research on things that pricked a part of my brain. It's been really nice. Oh btw, I LOVE Petrarch. I finished his "the Ascent of Mt. Ventoux" and "on his own ignorance" a week ago and they were amazing. Petrarch seems like a lively passionate sort of fellow. He made me laugh and think and has now contributed four different quotes to my facebook profile. They were both part of The Renaissance Philosophy of Man that we are reading for my renaissance humanism class. For the first time we're raising questions and such that I hadn't thought too much about before. I'm almost tempted to be a philosophy major because that's the part I like the most so far. But we were talking about why the humanists thought we studied history. I can't say I found a sufficient answer. Some said we studied it to contextualize and better understand the bible, others because history repeats itself so we should read it to be able to make more informed decisions. That's always the ones that history teachers give. I can't say that either of those are the reason I study history. I think my love of history was rooted in my fascination with people. I love to watch people, to understand why they make certain decisions, etc. I think it stemmed from my inability to understand my irrational parents--particularly my mother! And I generally like people. I think we're amazing fascinating creatures and it only seemed natural to read about things people had done, what they believed in, how they interacted with each other, etc. But even this explanation seems too simple. Perhaps I like to study history because it helps me understand how the world I live in got to where it is now. Perhaps, I wanted to understand myself better so I read about other people that had similar beliefs, etc. The thing that amazes me is the diversity you can find. History may repeat itself but it does so in so many different ways! You can see it most strikingly with the ancient cultures. They were so cut off from one another that they could go off in their own direction without being influenced. I mean look at the Egyptians, Sumerians, Minoans, Chinese, early Americas, Incas, etc. All so very different!!! But today we seem to be loosing those unique fun differences. With a global exchange of ideas and information we begin more and more to look, think, and act the same. I don't know what I'm talking about really. Thoughts seem to spill out of my head. But for the first time I have time for thoughts to spill out!!

I noticed today that I tend to zone out a lot. I was in French class today and realized not once but a couple times that what I was thinking about had nothing to do with the lecture. And I started thinking about how often I do this. In rehearsal I often have to be brought out of my thoughts and the same for when I'm walking anywhere. I drift off and then someone will say hi to me and I may or may not even notice. It's such a jarring feeling too. To be woken out of an almost dream. Then I thought about how it would feel to be constantly in that state. To be moving about the world all the time lost in another place in your mind. It reminded me of a book I read. Basically the evil stepmother casts a spell on her stepchildren turning all six boys into swans. The sister escaped and has to make a shirt for each one of them out of this stinging plant. But she herself is about to be burned as a witch by some other people when she hasn't quite finished the sleeve on the last shirt. So this last brother was doomed to walk that in-between line. He was human with the wing of a swan and lived in a place between being human and swan. I sometimes wonder if that could happen to me if I didn't have someone to bring me back.