Flight Jodie

I really didn't feel like doing hw tonight. Listen at your own risk!!

: )

Woke up around nine today and went and worked out with lindsey. Waking up so late causes you to loose so much time. It's already noon!! Eeek! Well I have rehersal soon. Lots for me to think about today. What's wrong with me??? Smiling and unable to stop... Gtg! Vale!

So much to do!

Yeah, so I was at IIT all day. It was a nice not so stressful LLAB which made me happy. Now I'm home and just got back from dinner. I have two hours before rehersal and all I really want to do it sleep. Instead, I'm gonna clean my room and do some hw and maybe look over my lines. I think it would be nice to know what it's like to sleep again! I had a nice day though. I hung out with Michael for a while which was fun. I like how he makes me smile. Well I should get to work! Vale!

P.S. This is why I haven't been writing on this thing. I've got so much work to do I can't hardly think of anything to say. And everything I really would like to write about are things I do not feel like posting on the internet. Sorry everyone.

I should be sleeping

I had such I nice walk home from rehearsal. It was drizzling and I was prancing home to some jack johnson. It was nice. It's funny how it didn't rain all summer and now that it's cold it's raining every day. I have so much work to do. The play is going well. I think Jeremy has done a really good job making the cast feel comfortable around each other. I mean screaming to my husband to come and "scratch my ass" doesn't even make me flinch in rehearsal. We'll see how it goes during the actual performance. Oh how I can't wait. I really love performing so much. But I think this has been a good play for me. I'm getting to do a lot of things I've never done on stage or otherwise. Especially when it comes to the physicality of my character. Well i'm about to fall asleep. So i'm going to bed. Night!

I'm in air chem right now!

Ok, so I really should be paying attention to this class since I haven't been going to lecture and I have a midterm on monday but science bores me... Wahoo to the anonymous person who left a note! I dunno I've been so busy with egyptian and my german mid-term on monday. I haven't slept much in the past few days. I want to kill my egyptian prof. He tells us that we are not expected to memorize the vocab. because we will always be given a dictionary and then he decides no dictionary for the mid-term!!! Sheesh! So now I have five weeks worth of vocab. to learn this weekend. I want to cry. Speaking of crying you should have seen me at the naked theater meeting last night. I don't know, I just really care about this show and what an impact it had on me and it really hurt when everyone was appalled by the idea that a theater group would (heaven forbid!) do shows. I think the problem is we're divided as to what kind of aesthetic we want our group to have. And the founding members of naked seem to have a very different idea of what naked should be verses many of the newer members. Personally, I just want to do theater. I want to do things that move me, that get me excited, and I want to be able to share that with my audience. I want my audience to leave different than they came in. I don't want to be just merely entertainment. i want to make my audience think about something. But I don't want to do a show, just do a show. I mean what would be the point? I want to explore questions with an audience. Is that such a bad thing? We having a meeting to talk about all of this and I hope I can find a way to go. We'll see. Well I should start taking some notes! Vale!

Pain! Lots of Pain!

Yeah, so I went and did PT at IIT this week and now am in a lot of pain. This is in addition to the millions of bruises I got this weekend at FTX. Oh well... Yeah, so I think I've actually managed to get myself in over my head. I'm just barely getting stuff done for my classes and have play rehearsal and voice lessons, etc. I haven't been sleeping. And I'm having a really hard time in Egyptian because I never have enough time to put in to it. I mean it's the whole reason why I'm here! I'm just really frustrated. ROTC is going well this year though. And I'm sitting here listening to The Last Five years. I'm missing a FOTA propoasal meeting right now which might be the best way for me to get funding for this show. I just don't know what I'm doing. What I want... But right now I'm taking a moment for me and just listening. In a few minutes I'll get up, clean my room, iron my uniform, shine my shoes, do some reading, sleep for a few hours, and continue to push away at it all tomorrow. I will find a way to make this work! Good night.

It's been a while!

Yeah, so I've been soooooooooo busy. Three languages was not the smartest thing I ever did. I think I might take French pass/fail just because it's kicking my behind! It's entitled cours de prefectionnement! And when they say they are going to perfect your french they mean it. It's soooooo darn nit picky! I'm actually doing better grade wise in german where i don't understand anything the teacher says! It's getting a bit better but my pronunciation is appalling and I keep getting in trouble for always wanting to use an article like in French!! Egyptian is fun but getting hard very quick. I had a lot of fun making up a story so that I could remember all the signs in order so I could use my dictionary. Anyways, enough about classes! It's really nice to be back at school. I didn't realize how much I missed all my friends until I got back to school! I also realized that I do not miss the dining hall food but I do miss the fact that they do my dishes! I also missed being able to download music from all sorts of people on the school network ;) I'm currently downloading harry potter audio books lol! I'm so going to fill up this darn hard drive faster than I planned. Well, we'll deal with it when the time comes. The drama in my life has increased exponentially since school started. Let's just say guy problems and non-problems. We'll see what happens. Anywho, I need to get to work. Oh, I cleaned my room and it is sweet! Vale!

Tonight's Rehearsal

So, I'm in the process of winding down and going to sleep but I really want to write this down. So Jeremy asked us tonight to walk across the room as slowly as possible. And while we were doing this we were supposed to think about our past. And so I began walking. Feelling the floor touch every inch of the bottom of my foot. And I started to think. And there were just flashes of moments. Times when I was upset, feeling like the world was crashing in on me when I was living with my mom. Trying to imagine that being worse like I know it must be for my sister right now. Then I started to think about moments where I felt safe and content. I remember laying on my bed in the winter with the heater on. It was warm and snuggly and I was reading harry potter. Back in the day when I could spend all my time reading. Then i remembered sitting out in front of Campbell waiting for mom to pick me up. I remember sitting there and listening. And I was just amazed and mistified by the trees across the street. the wind blowing through those trees was louder than traffic. But no one noticed. I remember standing at the bus stop in the morning and being completely taken away by a flock of birds. I remember sitting in my room by the window when a sudden breeze hit me at just the moment when I was feeling sad. And I thought about how they say you have a flashback of your life when you died. And I thought about all the moments I would want to relive if I were going to die at that moment. They were mostly pictures. Mostly walks, or a breeze. Mind while I was doing all this i did a sumersault like Jeremy asked us to. Then i turned around to go back across the room. I went so slow. It was really hard and I'd mess up but i'd fix it slowly. Anyways, so i was thinking about happy moments and most of them were times when i stopped. Times when i stopped and let myself breathe. And i remember when i was younger this was second nature. All I did most of the time was breathe slowly and listen and take things in. the people around me, how they were feeling, sensing the world around me without my eyes. And so slowly I tried to bring it back. The way I once experienced everything. And so I took a few very deep breaths and listened with my body. Feeling the energy of the people around me. And I was just overwhelmed. I could barely breathe and I wanted to stop and cry and make it stop. But i just kept on trying to breathe very slowly and let go. Let everything go. And it was then that i realized that I was inches away from the rest of the people in the room. I just knew it. And I knew it was time to stop. To let go. ANd I slowly went down to the ground and curled up. Then slowly rolled over and let go. And I got to breathe. It was wonderful.