Christmas

I know i haven't updated this thing in days! I know I suck! Oh well. I've been busy not doing much of anything. I kinda miss having a schedule! Anyways today was pretty much your predictable Christmas. Woke up and opened presents. Then I went to church. Came home and helped cook a bit. I was feeling sooo sick this morning though. I think it was mostly cuz I hadn’t eaten anything all day and when I got home around noon I felt sick to my stomach. I guess cold medicine shouldn’t be taken on an empty stomach. So we ate, cleaned up, then I read HP. What’s so wrong with that? So it’s my fav. books! What’s wrong with reading them more than once? So what if some would call them beneath me! I love them. They’re very clever. I don’t know I just don’t feel connected to a classic author in the same way I do to J.K’s simple honesty. Something about them is absolutely charming. They remind me of my dad. Seemingly simple and yet they are very clever and there’s something inescapably lovable about them. They’re not written to impress. They simply are what they are and I like that. Yeah I’ve read a whole bunch of better written books but none so terribly delightful. And they’ve become part of my Christmas tradition! I read them every winter! So there Daniel and all you other book snobs!!!!! I love Harry Potter books! So whatcha going to do about it?

I just felt like venting there. A certain afore mentioned person has a way of making me want to defend myself since said person makes decisions about life and how it should be lived and hence his way is the only way. Passing judgments about things he knows nothing about. Absolutely nothing! I don’t know; I think HP helps me ground myself. Helps me remember that little girl I was once. So lost but so sure things would be ok. I remember thinking I would never get out of that house. That I’d never escape that place where I was always wrong. Where doing everything in my power to please her was never good enough. I just didn’t understand. I knew that she must love me because she’s my mother right? That’s how mothers always feel in books. In my books about other worlds where everything made sense. Where people had things they believed in! There were things they would die for. I remember always wishing I had something I felt so strongly about I would be willing to die for it. Something worth living for. And in a way, as I grew up I became that for myself. Me and my dream were what made it all worth it. How self centered does that sound? So I doubted myself. I was going to give it all up. I was going to dedicate my life to serving others. And I tried. Tried harder than I’ve ever tried anything in my life. But there was my dream still ever present in the back of my mind. And I knew I’d never be able to stop. I had to do it. I don’t know why but it’s what I was born to do. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. And it’s what I am going to do. No matter how long it takes. Don’t ask how I ended up here. I don’t know. Night!

The Boredom Cont.

Well today i sat around and did nothing. Called a few people and talked to some friends online. Mom won't be back till 7:30 cuz of traffic so it's just me and the dog. Hungry but i don't feel like cooking. Wish i enjoyed cooking it would make things so much easier but i don't. The silence is killing me! No wonder i talk to much at school. No one in this house ever talks about anything!! And that's if they're home at all!! It's no diffent at dad's. At least when i get there i'll have my sister. Think i'm gonna go do whatever! Vale!

Let the Boredom Begin!

So today was my first full day on vacation and not in Chicago and I already miss school! Vacations are so terribly boring!!!!! I woke up late and went to church at noon. Then i hung around here for a bit and later me and mom went to the mall so she could do some christmas shopping. I find the mall particularly draining this time of year. Too many people, too many crazy emotions swirling everywhere. Made me feel even sicker than i already am. I seen to get sick every december from all the traveling and exposure to new germs lol. Kinda used to it though cuz Chicago had me really sick for a while too lol. So now i'm here and very bored. Hopefully tomorrow will be better but i doubt it. Luckily mom hasn't sold the car yet so i still have a means of transportation but i don't really have gas money lol. Spent way too much on christmas. Oh well. THink i'm gonna go read or something. Vale!

State of my mind after finals! 

I'm Done!!!

I just turned in my last paper!!! Wahoo!! Nothing to do until next quarter!! Wahoo!! I have so much to do over break though. Tons of books I'm dying to read and lots of German i need to study. I think i'm going to try and get ahead in my work for german so it's not so overwhelming next quarter. So i leave for my mom's tomorrow but it's kinda a drag cuz i'm going to be stuck all alone at her house for a week before I get to go to dad's. Dan gave be my christmas present. It's the coolest Egyptology book ever!!! Yeah so it's for little kids but it's awesome!! Tons of cool little flaps that open and all sorts of fun things. i just love it!! Granted I picked it out but I love it all the same lol! Today i'm going with some friends to see Polar expres in i-max down town. Then i think i'm going to go ice skating cuz the rink is open today!! It's gonna be fantabulous!! More later! Vale!

I hate finals!!!

So I've got 2 finals tomorrow and every time i try and study i end up reading harry potter!! jdfaljkadsfjkl It's soooo addicting!! I should get to it though! German and the rotc should die!!! I killed my calc final this morning though. Finished and checked it in about an hour even though it was a 2 hour exam. Sadly I don't see a repeat in store for tomorrow. Vale!

Feelings

Well today was a slow day. I got no work done and now it's midnight and i haven't studied at all for my clac. final!!! I'll be ok lol. Went to the movies with dan and rachael tonight. It was very cold and i was only wearing a sweater like an idiot! Can't wait to go back to florida!! Anyways we saw....oh what was it called. Oh yeah, I heart huckabees. It was wicked strange but very awesome. But one of the biggest questions brought out in the film was how are you not like yourself? And as true UofC students we talked about it the entire way home. Dan decided that the biggest front I put up is that i act tougher than I am because i don't want to get hurt. And I have to say this is valid. I'm definetly one of those people who feels things constantly without thinking and I sometimes act tough so that people won't see how badly i can or am hurting. THen we got in this long discussion about whether a person can truly be happy and I said yes. I've felt happiness! I am happy! Yeah life isn't all roses but that doesn't mean I can't be happy. Dan and Rachael are those silly thinking types who don't recognize what they are feeling until they think about it. So they overhypothosize about a very simple feeling. How you can't be happy unless it's a constant state or something to that nature. We finally just agreed to disagree. We were also talking about how Dan and Rachael can't see me as an adult or a grown woman. SOmething about me screems 16 year old for some reason! It's so frustrating but in a way i guess i see what they are saying and yet i don't! I feel like an adult, i'm 18, i'm responsible, i have goals, i treat people like adults i think. I dont know what else there is. OH well. I like they way I am and don't plan on changing any time soon lol!!! Well i should start studying lol! Vale!

Limes from my holiday homie! 

Dan the little drummer boy! 

Lazy day

I can proudly say i have done absolutely nothing today but eat and sleep lol. Had to get up to go to work though. I'm selling tickets for a show tonight which should be fun but no one i know is going. Had fun watching the revue with rachael last night. It was pretty good. Then we watched HP 1 for a while and then dan came and took her away to sing. So i hung with them for a bit; then i went to the little theatre to sing by myself for a bit. Pretty boring few days oh well lol! Vale!

Friday...

Well i took my french final this morning. I don't think i totally failed lol. There were 3 i couldn't get the answer to and two i guessed on that i think are wrong lol. Other than that who knows! Anyways, now i'm in the reg. typing my hum paper that i'm supposed to have done in an hour for our writing seminar. I was going to write it this morning and study for my french final but neither actually happened. I was up late watching Cabaret and then my stupid hall mates were up talking all night in the hall so it echoed to the point where i couldn't sleep. I hate it when i have to be the one to complain that everyone be quiet so i can sleep but it couldn't be helped. And I had to ask them twice!!klaklsfdjklfdjkf Well that's college. Who needs sleep right? I should have just gotten up and worked on my paper then but i really wanted to sleep lol. So, today is the first day since i passed my pft that i have not been in an enormous amount of pain lol. Well i should get back to my paper! Vale!

Tons to do!@

Well we had our holida homie gift exchange today. I got a crown that says queen of green, a bunch of limes with faces on them (Harry Potter, Piccaso, a vampire, etc.). I totally guessed my person on the first time. Hannah just looked guilty lol. Air Force was kinda so so today. I got a hoodie that says air force though. Gotta represnt lol. Darn Post It noters you shall pay!! Got two more notes on my door today!! And my suspects continue to play dumb! lasdklfjadjkler. Well you (two?) are going down!!!! Just wait! So i have a paper to write and a final tomorrow!?!! Gonna die! Oh and dan's concert is like now! GTG!! Vale!

Thanks Ya Ya for the great pic. of me in my crown lol. "The Queen of Green" 

It really does snow at the university!!!