Friday Night

It’s 3:30 in the morning and I’ve had a very good crappy day. I’m just laksdjfwo and have no one to talk to and really just want to explode. So if I say something I shouldn’t oh well I don’t care! I just got back singing with Daniel and Rachel or rather not singing with them. Turns out this whole time when I’ve been singing with them they been planning to do a revue of a bunch of musicals for all of BJ and not just making a list of songs they like and don’t like. I don’t know I just sort of felt hurt that they thought they had to lie to me about it. I think it’s a great idea and I can’t wait to watch them. I just would have rather them have just said hey we don’t want you to do it with us. I’m not a singer and I never claimed to be! I hardly even read music and I definitely have a hard time associating the note on the page with what I’m singing. But they’re both vocally trained and amazing so I completely understand. I’m just a girl who likes to sing, I don’t care if I sing well or not! So it’s not like I would be offended for them not to want me to be part of their revue. I mean I was never a lead in a musical or even had a named part for crying out loud!! I just was really upset that two people that I was trying to become good friends with wouldn’t be honest with me. And tonight Dan was being so mean to me. He purposely did the opposite of anything I said just to spite me. I don’t know why he’s mad at me. But maybe I should pause and return to the beginning of this evening.

Well I went to somewhere on the other side of town to go thrifting with some floor mates which was fun. But, I missed dinner and when I got back everyone was gone so I had no one to hang out with. So I ordered dinner from somewhere and was going to sit down for a nice evening of HP 1 but to my dismay I couldn’t find it anywhere!!! I still haven’t located it!! So instead I had a Roswell fest and watched the first 4 episodes. Drank some hot chocolate, it was fun. Then I decided to go see if anyone was around and found people hanging out in the lounge carving pumpkins and watching a movie. Stayed there for a while and then went to see if Rachel had gotten up and Dan was back. So I played some weird game with them for a while and then we went up stairs to watch something which turned out to be Sex and the City. Now I had never watched this show before and hung out for a little while until one scene and I left because well… it was not my idea of entertainment. So I went back and watched school of rock for a while in the lounge. Ben was there looking tired as usual. Again he didn’t say much if anything to me. Granted he was watching the movie but still. I don’t know; I’m tired of initiating things with him you know? I have absolutely no idea where I stand with him because he never talks about it. We go out we have fun and then it’s good night I’ll see you around. I don’t even know if I even like him anymore, I hardly get to talk to him through the week. It’s just that… I don’t know. I think I want someone with a bit more fire, someone I can argue with who isn’t always so tired. Someone who will tell/show me how he feels. Anyways I digress, then I realized I still had Daniel’s hat so I thought I’d return it to him and go to bed but he wasn’t anywhere in his house. And where do I find him? Singing with Rachel without me again. And that’s when they finally tell me about the revue. I just feel really lonely right now. No best friend to spill my worries to because the three people I enjoy spending time with the most are lying to me or are too tired and busy to talk to me at all. And here I am at 3:45am on a Saturday, all alone.