I can't sleep.

I asked Josh to not talk to me for a "while" tonight. I've wanted to do it for a while... It just hurts to talk to him and I don't know why. I know it's over. He know's it's over. I've accepted it. But i still care about him and miss being with him. I think talking to him just sort of emphasizes that I can't do that anymore and it hurts. I've been listening to this song of Amy Lee's on repeat since i downloaded it earlier. It's so beautiful, and there are hopes, dreams, amazement... So, I wrote her that letter. I don't think she's going to get it, but you never know. But asking Josh to not talk to me was something I had to do for myself. You have to be able to be your own best friend sometimes and look out for yourself. If it hurts, then make it stop. I hope Josh and I can be friends some day. But it's going to take a long time for me I think. Enough of that. Let me tell you about my day!

Lets see... I went to a meeting with Nancy this morning to talk about customer service and bookstacks. It was fun... Then I did some shifting. Then I went to the housing office to get put in the general lottery. Afterwards, I went to the fin. aid office only to find out they still haven't fixed my fin. aid. Bah! But, I'm applying for my loan, cuz I don't want to wait anymore. Then i got lunch and went downtown to rehearse for scene study class. It wasn't a very constructive rehearsal though... Then I met Michael for dinner. I really love talking to him. He's an amazing listener (I could probably learn a thing or two from him). Then we went and got tea because i can't go downtown without going to Argo Tea. Then I found out Michael had never been to Ghiradelli's even though he lives downtown!! So we went and got our free sample chocolate and I bought some hot chocolate. We stopped in Borders so I could go to the bathroom, and of course I ended up leaving with a book! It's Racine's version of Phaedra in french. Should be a fun read! Then we went to the Hershey's store and then Michael walked me to the bus stop so I could get home and do some hw. Instead, I come home and print out my reading and start downloading music and fall in love with this song (which i am still listening to). Then I talked to Josh for a while and we all know how that ended. I don't want to do reading, and I don't want to sleep. I don't know what I want sometimes.