Paper break

Yesterday was a long day. Class, reading, rotc, then mass, and more hw. I think mass was the hardest part of all of it. I sat there for the frist time and felt like I didn't belong. That I was loosing this community that i've been a part of for most of my life. I stood there and i couldn't say the words. I couldn't sing the songs. I came home and talked to Rachael about it for a while and we did some reading about things online. And by the end of it all Rachael and I knew that I had made a decision. Not because of rational facts, not out of pure curiosity, but because of what I feel in my heart. Based on my own relationship with G-d this was the only decision I could make. And now i don't know what to do next. I guess just start reading and talking about what my options are. At least G-d has stood by me through all of this. There's never been a doubt that I was loved and that in the end everything would be ok. Just another thing to be greatful for. It's funny though. I'm listening to the last five years. Has nothing to do with anything. It just fits me. Well back to my french paper. Vale!