This day never seems to end

I spent most of the morning crying. I shouldn't be writing about this here. Out of respect for the wonderful time we had together. But i hurt so much. I care about him so much. Josh broke up with me this morning. And unless you're him, don't ask me about it. I do hope he finds someone who will make him happy. Someone who will let him have fun and be himself. I've stopped crying though. I'm gonna be ok. Sometimes things just don't work out. They're not right and it's no one's fault. It's not my fault. There's nothing more I could have done. Right? I learned a lot about myself from Josh. I learned a lot about what I need by being with him. It's just hard. I was talking to kate, just yesterday, about what I was planning on giving him for his birthday next month. I had a great plan. But now it would just be weird i guess. He doesn't love me. It's as simple as that. Even though I really was falling in love with him. But real love is mutual. No matter how much i tried I couldn't make him love me like that. There's nothing I could have done. I can be strong. I've always had to be the strong one. And I'll be strong now. I can be happy on my own. I have been for most of my life. Hakuna-matata. I really do wish he'd told me in person.