I haven't been eating right...

The smell of any kind of cooked food has been doing a number on me these past few days. I was really sad yesterday morning. It was hard to concentrate and practice my monologues. Then I had my meeting with my acting teacher at eleven and we talked for a while. He said he thinks i'm in the right profession, I just need to figure out how to get myself to bring it, on command. Expand my bubble so to speak. But he wants me to take his master's scene study class! I can't believe it. Becuase I was going to ask him if he'd let me in his level two begining class! Instead, he offered me a spot in a master's class! Yesterday reminded me why I do theatre. I don't do it just to move people, force them to see some sort of truth, I also do it because it really lets me get things out in a positive way. I had a hard time doing the lovey dovey part of my Viola monologue (12th night). It was just really hard.

Why what would I?
Make me a willow cabin at your gate
And call upon my soul within the house.
Write loyal cantons of condemned love
And sing them loud even in the dead of night.
Hallow your name to the reverberate hills
And make the babbling gossip of the air
Cry out, "Olivia"

It just came out sorta angry in class. So I came home and rachael and brian and I went out to dinner to celebrate me getting into this advanced class. We went to Uno and got some really great pizza. I was starving because I hadn't really eaten anything in 2 days, so of course I over did it. And today the sight of food disgusts me again. Bah. Whatever.

I was online last night talking to a bunch of friends in GA. It was especially hard talking to Bridgette because she understood why i feel lost. so many parts of myself that aren't there anymore. I find myself praying a lot lately. I miss being able to pray with other people. I finished my cart 45minutes early and I was going sooooooo slow. At least I'm not stuck in the basement doing check in. My shuffle keeps playing all my favorite sad songs. I swear this thing is psychic. :p