Post 300

I don't know what to do now... This stupid job gives me way too much time to think!! Today I was thinking about the play I saw last night. I absolutely loved it! But why is it I can't go see a show, professional or otherwise, without wishing it was me up there on that stage. I'm usually convinced that I could do better even if the actress is outstanding and there's this longing to be the one up there that's getting harder and harder to ignore. I mean in high school I remember thinking about theatre and how much I would miss it when it was gone. But I was always doing theatre so it was easy to put it in the back of my mind. ANd as much as I loved theatre, and egyptology was a greater love for me. But now? I don't know... I mean I really love theatre. I like connecting with an audience. I like being able to share things with them. But I'm not any good and there's no possible way that I could pursue this. I mean I'd have to quit the air force, pay them back... transfer schools or try and graduate from here early... I don't know what to do. I need to keep thinking.