For the first time in my life i can say i've done something I'm not proud of. I've been a part of something that's turned into something wrong and I don't know how to fix it. And if I quit now lots of people will be let down that are counting on me. I'm just kind of lost. Have you ever felt after doing something that a little piece of you died somewhere along the way? A little piece of your innocence, your ideals, your dreams. I like to giving to people. I like being able to take them away from the world for a while and make them smile or give them something to think about. I like being able to help people face things they don't want to think about. To make them aware. But this doesn't do that anymore. There's no reason. The words are gone. Now it's just chaos, disgusting, and grotesque. But that's what they want it to be. And so I'll do it because I made a promise. However, there will not be a next time. I know what I want now and we're going to make it happen.