Changes

So I've spent my entire life chasing something absurd. Something i thought I wanted. Something I thought would be fun and interesting. But now I'm here actually doing it. Talking to real Egyptologists. And they're boring! I'm just too rambunctious and loud. I'm not sure when this happened but it has. I want to give something to someone. I just feel like being an Egyptologist would be a really selfish thing to do. I'm the only one who would benefit from it. And I just can't see myself spending the rest of my life researching. I want to go on an adventure. Do something that means something. I did this busy persons retreat this week where I met with a spirtual companion for half an hour every day and I spent a lot of that time thinking about all the gifts that god has given me. I guess the biggest is that i can make people smile. I remind people that it's ok to be silly and have fun sometimes. I care too much. And I was trying to think of something that would use all of these skills. I really don't want to work in an office. I want to be out going somewhere. Hands on kind of stuff. I have an appointment with my priest to talk to him about it. And I'm praying about it a lot. I have a few ideas but nothing I want to say out loud. Rachael makes fun of me because of how much i care about what you say out loud and what you don't. i don't know, saying it out loud makes it real and I'm not sure if i'm ready to make that step yet. I am changing directions and that I've said out loud finally and it's going to happen. (Oh and Elise if you're reading this do not tell mom and dad, I'll do it!). Well I should get to work! vale!