Look at all the pretty colored paper! 

It opens! 

Remembering

So I woke up late and missed church so I’m gonna have to go at 5pm. Anyways, I was sitting and talking to friends in Mathews trying not to do hw but eventually I had to leave cuz they had hw they wanted to do as well. I was just checking my e-mail and going through some of the messages I had saved on my hotmail account. And there was one really sweet e-mail I got from a friend the summer before my senior year. It’s nice to know that at least for that moment I had someone that really cared about me and was brave enough to put it into words. One of those special moments you’ll have imprinted on your heart forever. It made me smile. Vale!

Wahoo!!

I don't know why but i got a part in that play that i bombed the audition for. They must be desperate cuz that was probably the most horrible audition i ever did. I was way too big and went a bit too fast. But oh well at least i got into a show!! Wahoo! I'm probably going to miss the read through though cuz they changed the time last night and i have to work! I'm kinda bummed but what can you do? Anywho, I'm sitting in the reg till i have to be at work. La de da! Vale!

Confused

So I totally bombed this audition tonight. If they cast me then they're really crappy directors or really desperate. I don't know; I just went too fast. I've just been rather agitated lately and I couldn't keep it out for some reason. Anyways, whatever. I need to find a monologue for this audition for sat. At least it's on my own terms. My monologue! So I went and took my quiz for math this morning and now I’m doing the hw and messing up on the darn algebra. I miss happy numbers! I spent a lot of time cleaning my room and taking a shower. Did some hum. reading. Pretty uneventful day.

Daniel is still not talking to me. Whatever. Life just isn't fair or nice sometimes. And it looks like I’m not even going to be able to hang out with my friends in Mathews much anymore cuz he’s always there ignoring me. I have been neglecting my coulter friends so it may be a blessing in disguise. Saw Ben at lunch today. I haven't talked to him in ages. He's doing well and we talked for a bit. I just sort of wonder why he didn't want me. I just got tired of initiating everything so I just sort of took the hint and left him alone. Maybe he thinks I’m an annoying overly emotional individual like Daniel does. But I can't help it! I try and stay in control but you can only push me so far. Why do I have to be so sensitive? I didn't ask to be this way. I really don’t want to be an analytical unemotional person though. I like being able to be happy and being able to experience things without thinking.

Long day...

So i actually didn't do hardly any hw last night cuz i didn't feel like it. So i watched this movie called Deeply instead. I think it messed with me i don't know but i ended up going to bed round midnight. Still really upset but i feel a lot better today. So i woke up early and did my hw. Managed to finish german and french in calc. Then i had to run back to my dorm to get the ger. essay prompt i forgot so i could write the essay and then come to find out it wasn't even due today!!! Blah! So i'm here killing time before gym. I brought aida to listen to instead of phantom cuz i get too into phantom and mess up my breathing while i'm running. It's so much more fun to sing along though!! Well more later. Vale!

I'm sooooooooo mad!

I've never been so terribly upset with anyone in my entire life! I've been trying really hard to be friends with daniel because I like hanging out with him and rachael and my other friends in mathews but unfortunely I just don't think it's going to work. I can't stand his constant lack of caring for anyone else's feelings but his own. He's a spoiled selfish little brat who can't look at anything from someone else's perspective. Because he thinks he's some genius that shouldn't have to change for anyone or have to conform to anyone's box they try and put him in. He's constantly trying to be diffent and blah-de-da but he's not smart enough to get along with people. TO have relationships with peolple that go both ways and not just his way! I'm just tired of crying. I'm tired of letting him get to me. I'm tired of being so upset i get no sleep and can't concentrate on my homework! But i can't avoid him cuz he's friends with so many people that i enjoy hanging out with. I just don't know what to do. I know i'm supposed to love my neighbor and that I shouldn't judge people but i can't take the constant pain. It just hurts. That a friend of mine would treat me with less respect than he would afford a stranger or a dog! He went and wrote a bunch of messages to my friends on the facebook under my name that were really mean and really hurtful. I would never say anything disrespectful about one of my friends. And i guess i'm naive enough to believe that people would have the same courtesy for me. But no, spoiled little Daniel can only see how he feels and how he was annoyed that I talked to his friends online but i was nice. I talked about books we had read recently and college admissions essays and things like that. I was just trying to play around and daniel was trying to be mean and spiteful and i just don't understand it. No matter how upset I got i wouldn't do something mean that would hurt someone i cared about no matter how upset i got. I guess what hurt me the most was to know that he did it on purpose to hurt me. What have i ever done but try to be nice to him?! I've tried to not take things he says personally, tried to make allowances for the fact that he's not as perceptive as some to tell how he affects the feelings of his friends. ANd i apoligized to him for getting on his computer without having to be "taught a lesson" because i knew I had upset him earlier that day. Why couldn't he have told me then what he had done? If he had said "hey i was really mad and did something stupid. i wrote some pretty mean messages to some of your friends through your face book. I know there's no amount anything that could justify doing what i did. But i'm sorry." But daniel is never sorry. he doesn't care about anyone but himself and only apologizes when he knows you won't speak to him otherwise. I just don't know what else i can do. I'm trying not to judge and trying to think of how to be nice but i don't want to just start hanging out with him again just because i want to hang with rachael and the others and pretend it never happened. Maybe if this was the only thing he had ever done it would be easier but it's not the only thing. It's the final thing that tipped the scale and made me realize that i don't think this can get better. I just don't know what to do. Well off to gym.

Janice

Me and my puppy! 

Me & my Sister! 

My Dad! 

Jackie & Urenna @ the movies! 

Daniel is annoying and won't turn off the music!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to kill him one of these days and I mean it!! Well as expected I didn't get called back for Crucible or Poe. I wasn't expecting or really desiring to get into Poe but I thought maybe the Crucible sinse there were so many younger parts but no, I was forced to audition for the woman part and not the girl part! Oh well. I really want to be in a work shop or something. I just need to be in show. I'm just going to die! I almost started crying in the dining hall at lunch today. I don't know why i miss it so much when i'm obviously suck at it! Whatever. We'll see what happens this Friday. Vale!

Auditions

Well i totally didn't do any hw today cuz i was so worrying about auditions all day. What can i say i'm desperate!! I need to be in a show! So i was practically on the verge of vomiting! Anyways i just got in there and i was fine. In fact is was so much fun! I couldn't believe how much fun that was! I miss theatre so much. I didn't even care at all that there was such a small group of people watching. I just wanted an audience! It was a amazing and now i can't concentrate to study. I think i'm gonna go to sleep and wake up early and do it. I hope i get something! Anything! I just want to be in a show so badly. What on earth am i going to do when i graduate!! Well night! Vale!

Well I'm back!

So school started today. Was running around a lot. I'm excited about auditions tomorrow. I'm trying to remind myself why I love theatre so much. I hate closed auditions. I miss having an audience. I was hanging out in Rachael's room most of the evening. Dan and Rachael, think or rather don't think like an F for five seconds please! Just get it over with already for crying out loud. Everyone can see what you two don't want to! So just get over it already!!! My goodness. Anyways i'm tired. More later! Vale!

Christmas

I know i haven't updated this thing in days! I know I suck! Oh well. I've been busy not doing much of anything. I kinda miss having a schedule! Anyways today was pretty much your predictable Christmas. Woke up and opened presents. Then I went to church. Came home and helped cook a bit. I was feeling sooo sick this morning though. I think it was mostly cuz I hadn’t eaten anything all day and when I got home around noon I felt sick to my stomach. I guess cold medicine shouldn’t be taken on an empty stomach. So we ate, cleaned up, then I read HP. What’s so wrong with that? So it’s my fav. books! What’s wrong with reading them more than once? So what if some would call them beneath me! I love them. They’re very clever. I don’t know I just don’t feel connected to a classic author in the same way I do to J.K’s simple honesty. Something about them is absolutely charming. They remind me of my dad. Seemingly simple and yet they are very clever and there’s something inescapably lovable about them. They’re not written to impress. They simply are what they are and I like that. Yeah I’ve read a whole bunch of better written books but none so terribly delightful. And they’ve become part of my Christmas tradition! I read them every winter! So there Daniel and all you other book snobs!!!!! I love Harry Potter books! So whatcha going to do about it?

I just felt like venting there. A certain afore mentioned person has a way of making me want to defend myself since said person makes decisions about life and how it should be lived and hence his way is the only way. Passing judgments about things he knows nothing about. Absolutely nothing! I don’t know; I think HP helps me ground myself. Helps me remember that little girl I was once. So lost but so sure things would be ok. I remember thinking I would never get out of that house. That I’d never escape that place where I was always wrong. Where doing everything in my power to please her was never good enough. I just didn’t understand. I knew that she must love me because she’s my mother right? That’s how mothers always feel in books. In my books about other worlds where everything made sense. Where people had things they believed in! There were things they would die for. I remember always wishing I had something I felt so strongly about I would be willing to die for it. Something worth living for. And in a way, as I grew up I became that for myself. Me and my dream were what made it all worth it. How self centered does that sound? So I doubted myself. I was going to give it all up. I was going to dedicate my life to serving others. And I tried. Tried harder than I’ve ever tried anything in my life. But there was my dream still ever present in the back of my mind. And I knew I’d never be able to stop. I had to do it. I don’t know why but it’s what I was born to do. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. And it’s what I am going to do. No matter how long it takes. Don’t ask how I ended up here. I don’t know. Night!

The Boredom Cont.

Well today i sat around and did nothing. Called a few people and talked to some friends online. Mom won't be back till 7:30 cuz of traffic so it's just me and the dog. Hungry but i don't feel like cooking. Wish i enjoyed cooking it would make things so much easier but i don't. The silence is killing me! No wonder i talk to much at school. No one in this house ever talks about anything!! And that's if they're home at all!! It's no diffent at dad's. At least when i get there i'll have my sister. Think i'm gonna go do whatever! Vale!

Let the Boredom Begin!

So today was my first full day on vacation and not in Chicago and I already miss school! Vacations are so terribly boring!!!!! I woke up late and went to church at noon. Then i hung around here for a bit and later me and mom went to the mall so she could do some christmas shopping. I find the mall particularly draining this time of year. Too many people, too many crazy emotions swirling everywhere. Made me feel even sicker than i already am. I seen to get sick every december from all the traveling and exposure to new germs lol. Kinda used to it though cuz Chicago had me really sick for a while too lol. So now i'm here and very bored. Hopefully tomorrow will be better but i doubt it. Luckily mom hasn't sold the car yet so i still have a means of transportation but i don't really have gas money lol. Spent way too much on christmas. Oh well. THink i'm gonna go read or something. Vale!

State of my mind after finals! 

I'm Done!!!

I just turned in my last paper!!! Wahoo!! Nothing to do until next quarter!! Wahoo!! I have so much to do over break though. Tons of books I'm dying to read and lots of German i need to study. I think i'm going to try and get ahead in my work for german so it's not so overwhelming next quarter. So i leave for my mom's tomorrow but it's kinda a drag cuz i'm going to be stuck all alone at her house for a week before I get to go to dad's. Dan gave be my christmas present. It's the coolest Egyptology book ever!!! Yeah so it's for little kids but it's awesome!! Tons of cool little flaps that open and all sorts of fun things. i just love it!! Granted I picked it out but I love it all the same lol! Today i'm going with some friends to see Polar expres in i-max down town. Then i think i'm going to go ice skating cuz the rink is open today!! It's gonna be fantabulous!! More later! Vale!

I hate finals!!!

So I've got 2 finals tomorrow and every time i try and study i end up reading harry potter!! jdfaljkadsfjkl It's soooo addicting!! I should get to it though! German and the rotc should die!!! I killed my calc final this morning though. Finished and checked it in about an hour even though it was a 2 hour exam. Sadly I don't see a repeat in store for tomorrow. Vale!

Feelings

Well today was a slow day. I got no work done and now it's midnight and i haven't studied at all for my clac. final!!! I'll be ok lol. Went to the movies with dan and rachael tonight. It was very cold and i was only wearing a sweater like an idiot! Can't wait to go back to florida!! Anyways we saw....oh what was it called. Oh yeah, I heart huckabees. It was wicked strange but very awesome. But one of the biggest questions brought out in the film was how are you not like yourself? And as true UofC students we talked about it the entire way home. Dan decided that the biggest front I put up is that i act tougher than I am because i don't want to get hurt. And I have to say this is valid. I'm definetly one of those people who feels things constantly without thinking and I sometimes act tough so that people won't see how badly i can or am hurting. THen we got in this long discussion about whether a person can truly be happy and I said yes. I've felt happiness! I am happy! Yeah life isn't all roses but that doesn't mean I can't be happy. Dan and Rachael are those silly thinking types who don't recognize what they are feeling until they think about it. So they overhypothosize about a very simple feeling. How you can't be happy unless it's a constant state or something to that nature. We finally just agreed to disagree. We were also talking about how Dan and Rachael can't see me as an adult or a grown woman. SOmething about me screems 16 year old for some reason! It's so frustrating but in a way i guess i see what they are saying and yet i don't! I feel like an adult, i'm 18, i'm responsible, i have goals, i treat people like adults i think. I dont know what else there is. OH well. I like they way I am and don't plan on changing any time soon lol!!! Well i should start studying lol! Vale!

Limes from my holiday homie! 

Dan the little drummer boy! 

Lazy day

I can proudly say i have done absolutely nothing today but eat and sleep lol. Had to get up to go to work though. I'm selling tickets for a show tonight which should be fun but no one i know is going. Had fun watching the revue with rachael last night. It was pretty good. Then we watched HP 1 for a while and then dan came and took her away to sing. So i hung with them for a bit; then i went to the little theatre to sing by myself for a bit. Pretty boring few days oh well lol! Vale!

Friday...

Well i took my french final this morning. I don't think i totally failed lol. There were 3 i couldn't get the answer to and two i guessed on that i think are wrong lol. Other than that who knows! Anyways, now i'm in the reg. typing my hum paper that i'm supposed to have done in an hour for our writing seminar. I was going to write it this morning and study for my french final but neither actually happened. I was up late watching Cabaret and then my stupid hall mates were up talking all night in the hall so it echoed to the point where i couldn't sleep. I hate it when i have to be the one to complain that everyone be quiet so i can sleep but it couldn't be helped. And I had to ask them twice!!klaklsfdjklfdjkf Well that's college. Who needs sleep right? I should have just gotten up and worked on my paper then but i really wanted to sleep lol. So, today is the first day since i passed my pft that i have not been in an enormous amount of pain lol. Well i should get back to my paper! Vale!

Tons to do!@

Well we had our holida homie gift exchange today. I got a crown that says queen of green, a bunch of limes with faces on them (Harry Potter, Piccaso, a vampire, etc.). I totally guessed my person on the first time. Hannah just looked guilty lol. Air Force was kinda so so today. I got a hoodie that says air force though. Gotta represnt lol. Darn Post It noters you shall pay!! Got two more notes on my door today!! And my suspects continue to play dumb! lasdklfjadjkler. Well you (two?) are going down!!!! Just wait! So i have a paper to write and a final tomorrow!?!! Gonna die! Oh and dan's concert is like now! GTG!! Vale!

Thanks Ya Ya for the great pic. of me in my crown lol. "The Queen of Green" 

It really does snow at the university!!! 

I know I suck!

So I haven't updated this thing in forever! Well thanksgiving was great. I read HP and ate a whole lot of food. Also did a bit of shoping. Oh and it snowed!! It was cool. Anyways I have to study for a german and math test tomorrow so I'll talk more later. Oh I passed the PFT (my afrotc physical)!!!!!!!! Vale!

Thanksgiving day @ Grandma's! 

Today

Today was nice. Again I slept through my alarm and went to math tutorial late. Then I went to work which was the boring like normal. Then i came home and took a nam and missed the french movie which sucks cuz now i'm going to have to watch a movie on my own! Oh well. Then i came home and cleaned my messy room. It's soooooo nice! Then me and mars went to ratner to run. It was fun lol. So now daniel and racheal are her quizing each other with my german and french vocab. cards. it's a bit amusing. I haven't done any of my hw though i need to get on that. Well vale!

Very clean! 

My mind is sooooo clean! 

State of my mind! 

Sunday

Well today was long. Didn't wake up till late. I was @ the theatre @ noon to take down the set of earnest and then i went and saw antigone. It was an ok show nothing to write home about. Except the wife she was horrible! But whatever. I really liked the drums though. THen i went to church, ate dinner and now i'm home. I have sooooooo much homework to do. Really need to get started. Can't waiti till wed! I'm going my grandma's in indiana for thanksgiving. Well gtg!

New Hat! 

Very long day

Well today was pretty fun. Me and rachael went down town to shop and so i could go to the bank. Bank was closed but I used the atm to make a deposit which was interesting. We went into this huge department store that was a million stories tall and very green. It was awesome. I got a really cool hat and a hoodie. Rachel who has deposed me of the title of strumpet i think bought a little red number for her dance on the piano. Lets just say I wouldn't let my parents see me in an outfit like that lol. But she totally pulls it off. Work was boring but at least i was in Egypt. I was talking to this girl who did a study abroad there. I was insanely jelouse! Then to the show. We managed to knock over half the set twice it was sooooooo funny. cast party followed. Lots of alchol, I left early but it was fun to get to meet some UT people. I don't know it's just kinda awkward when you're the only person at a party not drinking. But I have my reasons so I'll just have to get used to it. Well i'm tired. Night! Vale!

Ucky!

That is the word that i would use to describe the weather today. I really need to go get an umbrella! Managed to get all my work done for today but i failed a french quiz that i didn't know about cuz for some reason i never got an e-mail from my prof about it. Blah. Watch me do worse in french than in german! Oh well. Really need to get on the ball with finals coming up. And my hum. professor has said nothing about our next essay. Whatever. It's friday and my day is completely planned until i crash after the play tonight. Well gtg. Vale!

Long Day

All I ever seem to do lately is sleep lol. I actually had fun at Rotc today. Learned to read a compass and all sorts of fun stuff. 100 meters = 67 of Janice's paces! lol. Tonight's show went as good as expected but I lost my ID on the way home! That's the second one this year! And it's only first quarter!! lsdlksalkjr. Oh well. All in all it was a nice calm fairly uneventful sort of day. Tons of homework to do. I'll be up at 4am lol. Well good night! Vale.

yeah... 

tonight 

Current State of my Mind 

I don't know. Just sort of blah. Really pissed at Daniel but what else is new? He is such an insensitive jerk sometimes. I love him to death but honestly I don't know why I put up with him . And i'm sick of talking about him so much on this darn thing!! I need to get a life. But dan and rachel are like my two best friends here. It's just lately whenever I'm around them I feel like this unwated 3rd wheel. They're always singing or laughing and stuff and I'm just sitting around being ignored. And then there's this whole thing with a certain other someone that I'm not even sure is a thing at all. And I don't even know if I want it to be a thing. I just don't know what I want. jksfdjklsdafoiuerw. That's all i'm going to say about that. And the play tonight went great. I just really miss it you know? Theatre has been my life for so long and being stuck on the side lines is almost worse than not doing anything at all. I just don't feel like I fit anywhere. I'm not the smart kid anymore, or the drama geek who lives in the theatre, or the girl who spends hours walking her dogs, or the girl who would sing just to let it out when no one was home. I don't know where I am or what I want anymore. I really feel like taking a walk though. Maybe I'll get up early tomorrow. It could be nice. He could be nice. Vale.

Current Song

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The Regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Makin' love to his tonic and gin

He says, "Son, can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger mans clothes"

La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da dum

Chorus:
Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feelin' alright

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me."
As the smile ran away from his face
"Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place"

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da dum

Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin' with Davy, who's still in the navy
And probably will be for life

And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinkin' alone

Chorus
sing us a song you're the piano man
sing us a song tonight well we're all in the mood
for a melody and you got us feeling alright

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see
To forget about life for a while
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, "Man, what are you doin' here."

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da dum

Chorus:
sing us a song you're the piano man sing us a song tonight
well we're all in the mood for a melody and you got us
feeling alright

-Billy Joel

Lazy Day

Tuesdays are so nice. No real class. I really wanted to sing in the lounge but someones playing. I think i'm gonna go get the books and go downstairs. I should do laundry but I'll probably just take a nap. Vale for now!

"I shall not envy lovers, but long for what they share
An empty room is merciless, don't be surprised if I confess
I need some comfort there"
-Aida

sdlfkje

Blah!!! Im tired.

I'm such a slacker

I just turned in the most horrible paper of my life!! i don't know I think my idea just wasn't that good once I got into it so it just sort of sucked and i wrote it in about an hour. Luckily it was only the rough draft so I can still fix it but i think i just can't write about this poem. Oh and i did really bad on my german test too. And i didn't go to math or french! Oh well. I don't do anything but german in math anyhow and people miss french all the time. It's just so easy to skip a class without having to worry about asking my parents lol. I need to work on this slacker thing though. It's all over now so all is well with the world. I'm gonna go work moving sets for UT tonight and the next two weeks. it should be fun. And i'm selling tickets on friday! I'm soooooo boring lol. Vale!

Wahoo!

I got the highest grade in my class on our math test on Monday!!! 98 baby!! And what did I loose my 2 points for you might ask? A stupid true/false question on the first page!! And I got 5 points extra credit for doing the review packet for the test so my final grade will be a 103!! At least I'm doing good in one of my classes. It's just funny my best class right now is math lol. Last night I watched another insane french movie. Yesterday was a happy day but I was really tired cuz I didn't get much sleep last night. Too much rolling around in my head and i couldn't block out the noise and sleep lol. So tonight after the movie I tried to concentrate to do hw but again my head was going at it and I didn't feel well so I went and retrieved my trusty cure-all, i.e. Harry Potter Book 1! lol. It's so good at giving me a break from whatever is on my mind. Anyways, now i'm in the ekhart library for the first time killing time until I have to be to work. Guess i'll go do some hw! Vale!

...

What am I doing?

Friday

Well it was a long day. School, blah! I went and saw Dan's play tonight. He was soooo great. The show before his was very interesting. I really liked it but there were some parts where the girl was shaking and it looked like she had terrets (sp?) or something. I still liked it though. There was this one part where the leading guy was talking and this blue light reflected in his eye. It was priceless. A few too many cuss words for my taste but good all the same. Daniel's show was just fun. It was a play of people doing a sherlock holmes radio show. It was a nice break after the serious play lol. Then we were coming back and decided to see what was up on the 6th floor of chamberlin house cuz none of us have a 6th floor lol. And we then proceded to visit everyone who was around in chamberlin. I got to say hi to my friend Ben. One of the many lol. Speaking of a Ben I'm going to the Military Ball tomorrow with him but I'm kinda sort of wishing I had asked someone else. Ben informed me he will not dance and I think it's absolutely absurd. I think i'm starting to believe he might just be as boring as he claims to be. I don't know i just wish he'd talk to me.... There's someone playing the piano right now and the three of us are waiting for her to be finished. They're watching this scary movie thing that I can't handle in the lounge next door and i'm in the computer room like a weenie. I just don't like people laughing at how freaked out I get by scary movies. Whatever. Well Vale for now!

Cont.

Current Song: No One Knows Who I Am. Jekyll and Hyde

Why do I have to take things so personally? Sometimes people can be extremely insensitive and more than likely they don’t even realize it. But it still hurts. I know he didn’t purposely try and make me feel like crap with statements like that but it still hurts. Why do I put up with him? Why do I hang out with him!? Someone sooooo crude, thoughtless, demanding, insensitive, tactless, trying, and utterly adorable? Lajkldfjklfdsa. I really do enjoy spending time with him more often than not but then he says something that makes me feel like crap and all I ever do is leave silently, knowing I’m not wanted.

Current State of My Mind! 

Election Party! 

AFROTC

Yeah so I was up late watching the election updates. My whole house was watching it in the lounge, we even ordered pizza lol. So i missed all but the last 5 min of calc cuz i got up late but i turned in my hw and got tonight's assignment so it really doesn't matter lol. Today was long. Had a german and french lecture session so i didn't get back until late. Then I was filling out this thing for AFROTC and i realized i have only one extracurricular and that is choir!! lol. I think i'm gonna volunteer to move set pieces for Ernest and I'm auditioning for a show tomorrow night. Hopefully I'll get something. So now i'm doing tons of AFROTC hw and am totally bored so i'm taking a break to update my blog lol. You know what I realized today. I think the state of my room really seems to reflect the state of my mind lol. Instead of saying what mood i'm in i could totally just take a picture of my room lol. Well back to hw. Vale!

The Wizard!!! 

Glinda, isn't she gorgeous?
 

Elphaba in character lol! 

We're soooo Wicked!! 

Halloween!

It has been one crazy Halloween weekend. Lets see, Saturday I went and sat in on a Q&A session for the winter UT proposals. Then it was off to work. It was sooooooo windy out side but it was really awesome. Work was dull. Got invited to a party by this guy who I work with. Then I came back and everyone was gone so I ate popcorn for dinner and watched gypsie. I didn't finish it though cuz I went to this party at Linn house (I had a wonderful time and I'll just leave it at that). Sunday I went to choir practice and church. Then i came back and daniel came over and was supposed to help me figure out I-tunes and instead starts chatting with my sister and a friend in FL on my aim!! It was insane but Daniel is cool so I let him get away with stuff occasionally. Then I did hw and went to the house meeting, etc. Josh came by while i was gone and when i went by to see him he was at his study break. But as I was coming back from getting help with German from Daniel I saw him in the court yard. He was looking for a quiet place to study cuz his roomie was sleeping. So he came over and studied for a bit. I kicked him out eventually so I could go to sleep. THen today I had tons of class. THe BJ halloween party was today. It wasn't really much of a party. Mostly, we just stood around to be counted and then left lol. But we totally pulled off our wicked theme. I'm gonna see if i can manage to put up a pic. Now i'd like to sleep. Night!

Friday Night

It’s 3:30 in the morning and I’ve had a very good crappy day. I’m just laksdjfwo and have no one to talk to and really just want to explode. So if I say something I shouldn’t oh well I don’t care! I just got back singing with Daniel and Rachel or rather not singing with them. Turns out this whole time when I’ve been singing with them they been planning to do a revue of a bunch of musicals for all of BJ and not just making a list of songs they like and don’t like. I don’t know I just sort of felt hurt that they thought they had to lie to me about it. I think it’s a great idea and I can’t wait to watch them. I just would have rather them have just said hey we don’t want you to do it with us. I’m not a singer and I never claimed to be! I hardly even read music and I definitely have a hard time associating the note on the page with what I’m singing. But they’re both vocally trained and amazing so I completely understand. I’m just a girl who likes to sing, I don’t care if I sing well or not! So it’s not like I would be offended for them not to want me to be part of their revue. I mean I was never a lead in a musical or even had a named part for crying out loud!! I just was really upset that two people that I was trying to become good friends with wouldn’t be honest with me. And tonight Dan was being so mean to me. He purposely did the opposite of anything I said just to spite me. I don’t know why he’s mad at me. But maybe I should pause and return to the beginning of this evening.

Well I went to somewhere on the other side of town to go thrifting with some floor mates which was fun. But, I missed dinner and when I got back everyone was gone so I had no one to hang out with. So I ordered dinner from somewhere and was going to sit down for a nice evening of HP 1 but to my dismay I couldn’t find it anywhere!!! I still haven’t located it!! So instead I had a Roswell fest and watched the first 4 episodes. Drank some hot chocolate, it was fun. Then I decided to go see if anyone was around and found people hanging out in the lounge carving pumpkins and watching a movie. Stayed there for a while and then went to see if Rachel had gotten up and Dan was back. So I played some weird game with them for a while and then we went up stairs to watch something which turned out to be Sex and the City. Now I had never watched this show before and hung out for a little while until one scene and I left because well… it was not my idea of entertainment. So I went back and watched school of rock for a while in the lounge. Ben was there looking tired as usual. Again he didn’t say much if anything to me. Granted he was watching the movie but still. I don’t know; I’m tired of initiating things with him you know? I have absolutely no idea where I stand with him because he never talks about it. We go out we have fun and then it’s good night I’ll see you around. I don’t even know if I even like him anymore, I hardly get to talk to him through the week. It’s just that… I don’t know. I think I want someone with a bit more fire, someone I can argue with who isn’t always so tired. Someone who will tell/show me how he feels. Anyways I digress, then I realized I still had Daniel’s hat so I thought I’d return it to him and go to bed but he wasn’t anywhere in his house. And where do I find him? Singing with Rachel without me again. And that’s when they finally tell me about the revue. I just feel really lonely right now. No best friend to spill my worries to because the three people I enjoy spending time with the most are lying to me or are too tired and busy to talk to me at all. And here I am at 3:45am on a Saturday, all alone.

German

I hate german!!!! I have an oral test today and I'm going to fail. I was up studying with Dan last night. He really helped me out with the pronunciation. Probably would have gotten more work done alone but hanging with Rachel and Dan was fun. Anyhow, I need to go study cuz my oral is in an hour. Oh I got the coolest sweat shirt today! It says the University of Chicago on the the front and "Where fun comes to die" on the back. It's sad that I think that's cool lol. Hopefully I'll write more later! Vale!

I suck!

I can't believe i haven't updated this thing in sooooo long. Been really busy failing german tests and what not. Not much to report. I have my halloween costume all figured out. I'm going to be elphaba and I have the green paint and everything! Wahoo! I'm trying to help rachel fing her Glinda dress right now. It's going to be Wicked! Well i have a ton of homework to do. Vale!

Post-it noters

They have a death wish!!

Museum day

So i was up until 4 in the morning last night. I was singing with Daniel and Rachel for 4 hours and then me and daniel went to this blues thing for an hour. THen we came back and rachel joined us again to watch Beauty and the Beast. Then we were talking and all of a sudden it was 4 in the morning! They helped me find all the post it notes that were hidden in my room by the obscene post it note fairy. Someone hid post-its all over my room!! I don't know who did it or how they got in my room. ANd who knows when they did it! I didn't notice it until yesterday! Darn my floor mates! Well today Ben came and knocked on my door and woke me up to ask when we were going to the field museum. We had a great time but I totally forgot I had to work today at 4! So we missed the first bus cuz i can't read but we got to the OI by a quarter till but i didn't have my uniform shirt. So he ran back to the dorm and got it for me cuz i'd never be able to get there and back in time. The Field museum was amazing though! They have so many mummies and things. I wan't impressed by the crapy lighting. They were trying to make it feel like a tomb but you couldn't see the artifacts very well. THen i went and got a bite to eat and went home. So now i'm here and i really need to do some hw cuz i've got 2 mid-terms on mon. but i don't feel like it. I think i'm going to go see HP but i don't have anyone to go with. Guess I'll go read something. Vale!

Sunday

Today was a pretty typical Sunday. I went to church early for choir practice. Yes, I joined the gregorian chant choir so i get to sing in latin!! Wahoo! It's fun. Of course i did no work yesterday so i've been doing homework all evening. I finished 6 books of the iliad and still have 3 more to read in the morning. What fun! I did my German homework with ben since we're both taking the same german with different teachers so we get two different perspectives on everything. He also helped me do some of my math since he's one of those honors calc. geniuses (there are many in coulter lol). So that's about all to there is to say. Just did a lot of studying. Oh I borrowed the fantastiks from daniel so i'll have a new musical to listen to tomorrow. And i think i'm going to go help out doing lights for a show tomorrow. Should be fun so long as i get my hum. paper done by wed. Talk to you later!
P.s. I also put up signs today cuz i'm hosting movie night. We're watching the complete works since no one in this dorm has ever heard of it. It'll be great!! Vale for real this time!

Been busy

Oh my goodness! I really hate German!! I did so much german this week it's not even funny. No more listening excercises please!! I don't think i failed the test but i'm really behind on my hum. reading now. I've got all weekend though. Lets see what have I been up to? Friday night I was hanging out with ben. We went walking around for a while and then we went and saw a movie at doc. It was that jim carrey movie where he's trying to erase this girl from his memory. I really liked it. I mean everything just came together! But we went to the 11:30 showing so we didn't get home until 2 in the morning. Needless to say i didn't wake up until 11am today. Went to breakfast/brunch. Lets see, then i did laundry and cleaned my room. Emily across the hall had the nerve to clean her room and my room looked so bad next to her clean one that i had to clean it. Then I went to work at the Oriental Institute Museum. (I'm a guard!) Everyone was being too good though! I didn't get to tell a single person not to lean on the case!! Ben stopped by to say hi and show off his heirogliphic skills lol. Later, i was talking to one of the other guards who was really nice. Then i came home and me, kenna, and emily went to hutch commons to get something to eat since the dining hall doesn't serve food on sat. night. Then I got a white hot chocolate from bart mart which was really nice since it was so cold out. So then I was back in my room and really didn't want to do homework so I went to one of the lounges to sing. Tonight was "there are worse things i could do" from grease. Why? Who knows. So now i'm back in my room and still don't want to read the iliad so i'm updating my blog lol! Well must stop this procrastinating! Vale!

Very very long day

Oh my goodness today was so long. I stayed up really late last night reading the Iliad. It took me an hour to figure out I was re-reading stuff i've already read so I was totally behind and another hour in to my actual assignment and I was asleep. So I went to humanities with only half the reading done but it was no bigie. Unfortunetly, now I have a whole ton of homework to do today and the reading from yesterday. I have auditions from 5-7 and then at 7 i'm supposed to meet some guys from rotc for dinner! I'm never going to get any work done. I really wanted to go read through some of antigone before the audition but it looks like it will be the iliad instead. I also had my "activite de votre choix" for french today and my sign up sheet said it was in stuart at 3pm. Stuart is a rather large building so i went to the foreign language office to ask what room and there were 2 ladies talking in an office and after seeing me and two other girls trying to find the same place for about 10 minutes they closed the door without ever acknowledging (sp?) our existence!! So we all went to stuart but couldn't find a sign or anyone who could give us any sort of directions. So now i'm going to have to e-mail my interviewer and see if I can reschedual. Oh well. I really didn't want to do it today anyways. Well gtg do homework. Vale!

Today...

Ok, I'll start with a few clarifications due to recent comments (cough cough Jason!!). BJ is short for Burton Judson which is the name of my dorm and no i could not figure out for the life of me what on earth is wrong with the abbreviation "BJ". I think I'll take it as a compliment that i'm all together unable to think like a guy in this particular case. My job is going great. I get to roam the galleries and memorize every silly fact about each egyptian artifact; it's great. I actually went to go turn in my soc. security card today and clear up some stuff with my schedual and only managed to screw it up more. Gotta e-mail my professor now. Oh well won't be the first time. Listening to wicked right now. I'm kinda stuck on it for some reason. Haven't had time to pick it up today, no time! I'm on the part where they just took Fiyero away and Elphaba has taken refuge with some religious women. And no one better even think about telling me what is about to happen!!! Did I tell you I made a web site a few days ago? It's a tour of my dorm room! Wish i had time to waste on web sites now. Unfortunetly, I'm probably going to be up all night doing homework but if you wanna check it out go to http://www.geocities.com/iana333/myroom.html. Oh, and i'm auditioning for Antigone tomorrow. Hopefully, it'll all go well! Vale!

So i'm totally lazy...

Well, I haven't written on here in forever! Well at least a few days and soooo much has happened. Lets see where to begin. i guess I'll start by letting you all know i didn't get cast in a single show this quarter which really bites but oh well it happens. On sat. i went down town and hung out with ben. We got some of the best chicago deep dish pizza ever!! Then we cruised the magnificent mile and borders (I was totally freezing and was trying to find somewhere to go to get out of the cold. Ben just laughed at me! So what if I'm a wimp from FL!!). Then he wanted to get ice cream but I got hot chocolate cuz again I was freezing!! Lets see, sunday i slept in and went to church at 5pm. Then, I don't really remember. Just goofed off probably. Oh yeah, I was reading wicked! That book can definetly keep me from my studies! Today was your typical monday. I had to get up at 4am to do homework becuase I was distracted and reading all day on sun. Classes were just sort of boring especially math! Spent the afternoon surfing the net and reading wicked. Tonight, I went to my first BJ council meeting. We sort of plan inter BJ house events. Then the pit snack shop opened tonight so everyone was hanging out down there. I was chilling with Ben cuz he finally broke down and did his laundry. So we were mostly just talking and such. Not really been a very eventful few days, just very busy. Well, Vale! Must sleep!